thinking..

lately, i've been thinking a lot.  about me/my decisions/who i choose to surround myself w//the things i do to take up (or pass) time/all the 'could've, should've, would've' moments in my life/what would ever possess me to take an 'emo-myspace-y' picture..  anyway, my thoughts in writing.

i feel like i just might be delusional.  lost my sense of reality

especially,

when my mind's eye gets a little hazy from the ways that i abuse my sanity.

i can't even discuss it,

every time i think i got it right,

i plummet.

falling faster every time

to my demise.

somebody pinch me,

the cement's coming @ 50

miles per hour.

left a taste in my mouth so sour.

i shouldn't have gave in but then again, i'm a follower.

no need to lead when you can't see

or believe

in anything.

living for a moment fleeting,

into time.

lose my mind just thinking

of all the times i do no speaking.

words i should say never articulated.

my heart is weighted.

i shouldn't have hesitated.

abused my acceptance

& created repugnance.

got lost in the dissonance.

regretfully silent,

one day i'll find it,

my voice.

& i'll have no choice

but to stop observing,

only to start conversing.

communication

goes hand in hand w/infatuation.

lose one, lose both.

learn to say goodbye & go forth.

--rae.